What Makes Crazy People Crazy???

The Setting:  Starbucks Sarinah, which is 95% empty

I’m writing this blog post in my head.  Why in my head, instead of on my laptop? Because my crazy-ass stalker is sitting next to me.  Why is she sitting next to me?  I’ve no idea, except to bug me.

“Are you alright?  How do you feel?  Did you get my calls or SMS?  You did not reply…”

*~ Well of course I did not reply!  You’re a stalker!  OMG! ~*

I think stalkers have stalker-periods.  Just as women have monthly periods, stalkers have monthly or bi-monthly periods, where they come to their victims, bleed all over them, and give their victims cramps!

My stalker is especially tenacious, using every excuse in the book to make contact.  First, it was contact out of ‘concern’ for my health.  Second, it was contact about religious advice, with a side-dish of dieting wisdom, and reprimand-for-telling-people-cafes-are-fun desert.  Third, she now wanted to meet because Dumbledore, the laptop I sold her a year ago, has a non-functional trackpad after she installed a mouse.  Forth, and lastly, she wanted to meet because she wanted me to join her in Tangerang for a photo project (like I’m going to stay in a hotel with her? “F” that!).  But, no matter what she says or does, I only become more adament to stay the hell away from her.  I’m the world’s most stubborn man.

*~ I AM the world’s most stubborn man! I even have a plaque stating it! ~*

Off-tangent Item:

There seems to be some celebrity here!  There are three photographers here shooting photos of some woman and her gentleman friend.  I’m assuming the woman is the celeb, as I am sure I’ve seen her “somewhere” before, I just can’t place where.  I’m sure on TV though.  I can say she seems genuinely a kind soul, and is very accommodating to the photographers.

Back to Reality… Oh ya, Luxifer is sitting next to me…

Yesterday, she sent food items to my house, even though she knows knows knows I do not want anything from her!  I gave them to the house-boy, because I simply cannot accept anything from her. I felt that was better than just throwing it into the trash (It’s bad to waste food).

Part of me is fully aware she “cares” in her own demented, warped way, but it does not justify terrorizing people. She’s like bi-polar!  One min she spewing out talk of how I am a evil man, because I do not listen to God (why? because all she says is directly from God, and so if I do not listen to her then I am, by the transverse property of mathematics, not listening to God).  Then she “switches” and talks of “why do I avoid her?” as if she has NO CLUE why, as if I just woke up and decided to not talk to her for no reason!  Then she “switches” again with anger and speaking in “tongues” (Christians in America, especially Baptists know what I mean) and telling me she is a prophet, and her name is no longer Luxi <Lastname>.  But, now her name is Maria-name-name-name-name-Luxi <Lastname>.  *~ That scared the shit out of me! ~*

OMG, now she trying to put her arm around me?  *~ GET THE FUCK OFF ME! ~*

No, I did not “say” that, but my Grrrrr seemed to convey the meaning.  Now we know what is next….. the “I’m sorry”  My God.  Now comes “The Tangerang office needs the sex worker photos, this is business Kak Rod…”  I told her “Send me their address; I will mail the CD.”

BTW, I am told “Kak” means “Sister” not “Brother”  Is this true? Then why the fuck does she keep calling me Kak Rod? My skin crawls everytime I hear her call me that.  I want to get up and go, but the free wifi is just too damn adhesive.

She wants to use more of that horrid “Anointing Oil” to bless me.  I respectfully decline.  I should say, all of my replies (the very very few I do give) are very tactful, 5-word-or-less “no thanks” or “sorry, I’m not interested.” replies.  I don’t want to feed the beast!

She rubs the oil in the palm of her hand, and is about to leave.  She’s making several phone calls to whoever.  She wants to shake hands as if “no hard feelings.”   She really does think she is the smartest person on the Planet Earth, and all others are just idiots:  She wants to contaminate me with an Anointing Oil handshake?

Actually there is so so so so so much to tell, but this is enough. My mind is getting full with this text, esp while reading of how O.J. is finally going to jail.

*~ What a combo: OJ and Luxifer, hahaha ~*

A question to the universe: How to get rid of stalkers?  Some friends say “move!” others say “change your number!”  Both of these ideas are quite disturbing actually.  Some may say only do those if the stalker is violent.  Well, my stalker IS violent.

*~ One day, maybe (but most likely not) I will tell you of her physical attack at my house, and prior to that, her throwing a full bottle of Jungle Juice at me, then pushing her elderly mom when the mom and sis were screaming “KikI, Stop It!”! ~*

In the past, I would reply her SMS and emails, in some hope of explaining to her that just because someone is not doing what “she” wants, does not mean they are acting childish.  Oh, if you are not willing to talk to her, you are childish.  Well, I say if a person is disrespectful to you, you then have the right to choose to not associate with that person. But, my attempts are quite insane, in a way.  Why? Because I’ve tried explaining “over and over and over” how I feel and think, and only getting the same result, while hoping to get a new result.

That is the very definition of insanity: doing things in same way, while expecting a different outcome. So, I am taking a new approach to get that new result: I do not reply any communication. I do not reply any emails.  Items she brings to my house are given to the houseboys to do with as they want.  The ONLY thing I give is the photos, which I did shoot for the city of Tangerang, thus I respectfully give that CD of photos.  The entire time she was here (maybe 20min now? I lost count) I’ve said only couple sentences to her.  No matter how many time she put her scaly arm around me, or try to touch my arm, I simply move away slightly to show it is not welcome, and I just turn the music up higher.

Ah, she’s going to church.  Wonderful.  Amen, and God Bless!  Go to Heaven! (pretty please?!?)

The Starbucks girls just brought me a free Oatmeal Raisin cookie.  I guess she saw I needed it. As they were staring and watching this entire infiltration into my personal space *~ LOL ~*

Take care :)


Exploring The Underground World of Sex Workers…

I’ve been doing a lot of research lately for current and future photographic projects. I’ve been reading many research papers and Millennium Development Goals (MDG) documents relative to Indonesia from the UN, WHO, USAid, and several NGOs. Two particular MDG that caught my attention are related to HIV-AIDS and Gender Inequality/Women Empowerment in Indonesia.

While the supporting research and documents went into great detail about the current status of these initiatives, work being done to combat them, and future goals, I noticed very little was mentioned about how the two topics share some common denominators and even fuel each other. Because of this, I’ve begun a new project that focuses on women sex workers.

This post is to give you a taste of what I’ve discovered and learnt to date during this on-going project. As with all my photographic projects mentioned on this site, this blog post’s text and photographs are a mere sub-set of the written article and photographs for this project (e.g., last post had 7 photos, but that particular photo essay has 25 photos in total). The text below, while quite long, is not quite 40% of the total document! I didn’t want to bore you with research citations, footnotes and bibliographies. :)

Some people have asked why I do not post all of the photographs for the projects I write about. The reason is simple: I’m almost done developing the new www.BeyondExposures.com website, which will house my photographic work in its entirety, including detailed photo essays and supporting articles. The new Beyond Exposures site will be up and running hopefully by mid-March. For now, I only post a handful of the photographs from each photo essay and introductory text I choose to mention. This particular post will focus purely on the overall experience and stories told by the women and health workers. A detailed paper will be completed by end of the week (as requested by the Ministry of Heath) and posted on Beyond Exposures for public access.

Defining The Project’s Parameters:

After weeks of deliberation, I narrowed my project to focus on five key areas: the women’s induction into sex work, motivations for staying, physical and mental health status, general profile of the typical client, and future outlook.

I picked a specific group of sex workers located just outside of Jakarta in the Tangerang Municipality to interview and photograph. Other groups in different areas will also be interviewed in the future. I managed to get permission from the women’s managers through health support group who supplies free condoms and health examinations to the sex workers. I had full access to the buildings, the women, as well as the support from “Mama and Papa” (the managers of the women).

Technical Difficulties:

Let me say one thing before I begin giving you details: This was the hardest photographic effort of my life! I had to shoot in near total darkness, with no flash and no tripod. I had to walk very quickly, yet quietly, past rooms with clients being serviced, and get photographs without being caught. I had to find a way to get sharp photographs while people moved at normal rates of speed, while being forced to use insanely slow shutter speeds.

Additionally, I need to mention the men and women in these particular photos knew they were being photographed. The photographs are real-life simulations of the actual events that take place over and over again each night in exact detail of how things happen: from condom use, to groping by the men. The men and the women gave their permission to be photographed, with the exception of the actual client who’s back was turned to me while he was asleep in the photo.

The Location:

Getting to the area was a challenge in itself. The physical location is on a long, thin cape of land not much wider than 25 meters, but easily more than 10 kilometers in length. One side of the cape has a beautiful scene of fishermen. The other side of the cape has a scene view of the water and small islands with airplanes taking off and landing at the airport in the distant background. The cool wind is constantly blowing. There are no mosquitoes!

The bumpy, dirt road is in extremely poor condition and is only wide enough for one car. A number of times, one car had to pull into the grass and mud so another car could pass. Deep grooves are carved in the mud road from the many motorcycles that travel up and down it.

The Cafe Faridah
The Cafe Faridah

Along the long stretch of thin land are dozens of rectangle-shaped buildings (about 25 meters long and 15 meters wide) built over the water. The floors and beams are made of Indonesian bamboo, which is said to be the strongest bamboo in the world. The buildings are bisected length-wise. The half next to the land is the dimly lit café area where drinking, dancing, women selection, and negotiations for sexual services take place. The other half of the building is 10 to 15 rooms (that are not quite 2.5 square-meters in size) where the women sleep and service clients. Each of these buildings has 10 to 15 women living there. Each building has a Mama and Papa who watches over the women.

On the end of most of the buildings are warungs (small convenience stores) that sold food, snacks and other things such as hand lotion and cigarettes. Across the road from the buildings are several street vendors cooking hot food, as the cafes only offer drinks.

While the women and managers knew my plans, the clients of course did not, and certainly would have objected to being photographed. I arrived at the location early morning, when the women were just waking up and preparing for the day. I was able to survey the building. I asked the women to sit on the far end of the bed when with the clients, so the client’s backs would be to the door (and thus not easily see me). I was allowed in the tiny cashier office of the café so I could shoot photographs through a 12 square-inch opening used to hand out beer and exchange money. When walking past rooms with women servicing clients, I had to be extra light-footed because the bamboo floors would creek under my weight with each step.

How Business Is Conducted:

Due to the remote location of the cafes, men come either by ojek (motorcycle taxi) or by a mini-van supplied by the café managers. The cost is a flat Rp. 100,000 (US $10) where 15,000 pay for the room . The remaining 85,000 are paid to the sex worker.

Iis dancing while others relax
Iis dances to the fast beat while others relax before work.

At night, stretch of land is saturated with loud, fast rhythm music. The girls stand outside laughing and dancing, calling out to the men as they drive past in hopes to get him to stop at their particular cafe . As men are transported down the long stretch of cafes, he picks one to stop at based on personal interest (maybe he likes a particular girl at one café, or he picks the café based on how lively it is).

Workers Negotiating the Price
Worker and client in price negotiations

Once at the café, he negotiates with the girls or a manager before entering. If a deal is struck, he enters, gets a drink at the cashier window, and has a great time drinking, flirting and dancing. This is the time the client chooses which girl he’d like to be with. Drinks are not included in that Rp 100,000 price.


Yeni Being Man-handled by Client

Once he and the girl agree to be together (the workers can decline the man if they wish to) they enter the back rooms where he is serviced. The girls do try to get men to use condoms, often successfully, but some men just do not like them. After sexual activity, the men either leave the café, return to the dance hall for more drinks, or just fall asleep on the bed. The workers go to wash their genitals and reapply makeup if needed before returning to the dance hall. If the man wants to stay with the girl all night, the cost becomes Rp. 200,000. Upon leaving the building the client settles his entire bill at the cashier window before departing.

Client Sleeping After Being Serviced
Client Sleeping After Being Serviced

Focus Areas 1 and 2: Induction Into Sex Work and Motivations for Staying

Induction into sex work varied from trickery by management to a conscious choice based on immediate financial need, to even revenge against men. Physical harm is not an issue for the women.

Yeni, age 24, was told she was being sent to work in a restaurant, only to learn the café’s true nature after arriving. She initially felt compelled to stay due to the threat of character assassination, as well as the original need to earn money to help support her family, and sold her virginity to an unknown client. One would initially think Yeni is a very happy, upbeat woman, but the more she talked about her situation, the sadder she became with tears welling in her eyes. She simply hopes to meet a good man and get married so she may leave.

Yeni And Cient
Yeni and Client

Rina, age 30, has been at the café by choice for 2 years. This is her second time working at the cafe. She entered a marriage at age 18 to a man who eventually shared and sold her to his friends. After years of abuse, she left him. Rina then came to the café to work for about a year before leaving to enter an informal marriage as a second wife/concubine. Her second husband also abused and cheated on her. After giving birth to a son, she contracted HIV from her husband. Rina returned the café to earn money to send home to help support her family. She has a dream to one-day work as a beautician or stylist at a salon.

I asked Rina would she be allowed to leave if she one day decided to try work at a salon. She said the women could come and go as they please–e.g., for shopping or visiting back to their home village–as long as they let Mama or Papa know in advance their intentions and time they will return. When I asked about condom use, since she has HIV, Rina smiled and said sometimes the clients use them, sometimes not. Most of the women interviewed said a lot of the clients do not fully understand how to use condoms, and the women must explain and demonstrate its use.

I later learnt that Rina plays judge and jury with her clients. If she feels the client is a “good man”, she encourages him to use the condom. If she feels he is a “bad man” then she encourages him not to use a condom, in hopes of infecting him with HIV-AIDS. She blames her first husband for her circumstances, saying if it not for him, she’d not be a low woman used for sex. Revenge, vindictiveness, and a low opinion of clients in general are driving factors for Rina remaining at the café in addition to the need to earn money for her family.

Elin Waiting In Her Room
Elin Waiting In Her Room

Elin is 24 years old. She is married and has one child. Her husband is fully aware she is a sex worker, and fully supports her choice. She was not tricked or forced into sex work. It simply is the fastest way to earn the most money to send home and build a savings. She has definite plans to work for a specific time before leaving to start a business of her own (the nature of the business was not mentioned). She has a very “business” attitude about her situation. I asked Elin how often she sees her family. She sees them on regular intervals, but for only very short visits. Longer visits are hard on her child, who would beg her to stay home.

While all of the women interviewed had various origins, introductions to sex work, and motivations for staying, one thing is clear. The ability to earn large amounts of cash in a very small time frame is the key reason for remaining in this line of work. I should mention drug addiction has often been sited as a means for managers to control women, but this is not the case for this particular group.

Focus Area 3: Physical and Mental Health

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor (MD or PhD). I’ve only studied Psychology in university from General Psychology to advanced Abnormal Psychology (the first two classes of General Psychology being required, the other five classes in Abnormal Psychology taken as electives and simply because I loved the topics). I almost double majored in Psychology (my first major was Computer Science) since I had completed the majority of the core requirements for the degree. I still read Psychology papers and journals, purely out of interest. With this being said, I speak only from a well informed, albeit non-PhD, opinion of Psychology. My statements regarding physical health are based on confirmed physical issues told to me by the women and the local heath officials who provide free routine physical checkups and HIV-AIDS tests.

The physical health of this particular group of women is fairly good. Some of them, such as Rina, have tested positive for HIV. Women interviewed have mentioned the need and use of oils as lubrication to prevent vaginal irritation and soreness, as they sometimes must service clients when they are “not in the mood.” Each woman services one to three clients each night, seven days a week. If a woman does not feel like working on a particular day, she is allowed to stay in her room, or work in the café area entertaining the clients. When menstruating, they work only in the café area, keeping the clients company while they drink, and dancing.

Some of the women suffer from poor self-concept and self-esteem. Self-concept is the cognitive/thinking aspect of how a person views herself. Self-esteem is the affective/emotional aspect about how a person feels about herself due to self-concept. Depression is also prevalent, as women must suppress their emotions feelings in order to wear a mask of happiness and excitement in front of the clients. Other examples of mental health issues are as severe as schizophrenia.

A few of the women suffer from obvious issues of sexual promiscuity, despite cultural influence (i.e., they enjoy being sexually promiscuous despite coming from a culture dictates it is a negative social behavior) and truly like what they do for a living. They are aware of the dangers and social opinion of sex work. They see it purely as a job to earn large amounts of money quickly with little effort, and are no different than being a singer or actress or other performer.

Focus Area 4: General Profile of the Typical Client:

The clients vary from unmarried 20-somethings to married older men who travel well over 2 hours to the café’s remote location to avoid being recognized. Fortunately, the clients who frequent the café are not violent. In fact, most of the women stated their clients are very caring. Violence is extremely rare, as managers keep a close eye on everything that is happening, and intervene when a client is too drunk. Drunken clients sometimes do become verbally abusive, using rude language and slang for what they want when the women service them.

Just after servicing one client, Elin came to me to describe the experience. Typically, services last only about 30 minutes. Her particular client did not want her to open her bra, stating he only wanted “the bottom area.” While being polite, he rejected the use of a condom, stating they feel strange. After being serviced, he paid her an extra Rp. 150,000 (US $15) as a tip for good service.

Another worker, Iis, came to me after her client, a regular visitor who is very rich but married, to describe her experience and history with this particular client. She’s known him for 4 months. He visits her at the café on regular intervals, but they’ve never had sex. He has erectile dysfunction. Despite being very pretty, and using every trick she could think of (from manual stimulation, to performing a strip tease, to oral sex, and even trying to arouse him with multiple girls) he just cannot get aroused. They end up talking in her room during his visit. He is very generous by giving her Rp. 400,000 each visit, as well as sending her cell phone Rp. 50,000 credit. When she wants to return to her village, she contacts him via SMS and he comes to bring her money for her trip home or gifts for her to take home.

When asked if clients sometimes develop infatuation or crushes on the workers, the girls laugh that it does happen at times, and it is great as it means the men will return soon, or give them extra money in addition to the Rp. 100,000 fee.

Focus Area 5: Future Outlook

The women all are very smart. Their key motivation is always to earn large sums of money in a relatively short time by what they feel is an effortless way, despite the mental and physical dangers. All of the workers have talked of their dreams to leave and lead conventional lifestyles.

Rehabilitation centers, which provide counseling and job training, are available to the women. They are all aware it is free to them if they choose to leave the café. Most of them stated they are interested in entering such rehab programs, but I am sad to say I personally feel such rehabilitation cannot be successful in its present form.

Why do I say this negative thing about a positive facility? I say it simply because money, in large sums and quick access to it, is their motivation. Most of the girls have little to no education (despite being very ‘street smart’). The types of jobs they could be trained for will not pay the same amount of money they currently earn to send home to their families. Furthermore, they receive large sums of money on an almost daily basis, while a conventional job would only pay them once a month. So, given the fact they would earn less, and receive that smaller pay less often leads me to think rehabilitation, in its current form, is not a viable solution, unless the women, and their families back in their villages, are willing to accept less pay in exchange for honorable work. That’s the trap, at least for this group of women: addiction to, and reliance on, the large sums of money.

I strongly feel the only women who will fully benefit from the rehab centers will be the ones without family depending heavily on them for financial support, thus freeing them from the immediate need to earn large sums of money.

I will soon tour the rehabilitation centers. I will find out if I am right or wrong. I’m hoping I’m wrong.

Special Thanks:

I just wanted to give a quick thanks to my friends who helped me to gain access to the areas and workers, as well as acted as translators for me during the interviews. I should also thank Mama, who was very hospitable and tried to spoil me with many foods like roasted peanuts and donuts. Her adorable daughter kept supplying me with free grape soda! The health workers teased me by saying the daughter (maybe 12 years old?) likes me as she kept following me around, standing close by to watch what notes I wrote in my Pocket PC and smiling at me after inspecting my photos in my Canon’s viewfinder. When Mama and the family wanted a photo with me, the 12 year old wiggled her way under my arm. Hahaha!


“Mama” and her daughters

Last, and certainly not least, I want to thank the workers, who were very friendly and open to any questions I had. I was allowed to photograph them getting ready for work and even bathing (but I’m a gentleman and declined). They seemed very interested in my motivations for being there. After talking to many of the girls, they were asking my friends “Does he like one of us? Which of us does he like best?” *~ Kyaaa! ~*

Elin, Rina, Schizto Worker and Social Worker
Elin, Rina, a schizophrenic worker and Social Worker

My Current Status:

My teaching contract will soon come to an end in mid-April. I’m debating to continue to teach English at another school in Jakarta (a long, sad story behind this) or to pursue Humanist, Cultural and Special Interest photography full time–meaning I’d need to find a source of income to pursue photo projects. I’m still pondering over the variables. So far most of my photographic work has been given freely to organizations, as the work help them to help others. I feel like Harry Potter sitting under the “Sorting Hat”

Sorting Hat: “Difficult, very difficult… Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either, and a thirst to prove yourself, but where to place you…”

I’ll soon implement my donations button. Hopefully some kind souls will help me to help others in need through my reportage, photojournalism and photographic work.

Bahasa Indonesia Lesson for Today:

Tolong: Help
Saya: I/Me

Ex: Tolong Saya! (Help me!)

Take Care!


© 2006-2007 Rodney On Earth