Am I A Japanese Schoolgirl?
Hello, everyone!
Yes, it has been too long since my last blog post. I’m finally settled in Ubud, Bali, but not working for the NGO as originally planned (a long story, but definitely for the greater good). I’m currently rushing to meet submission deadlines for publication (more on this later). Also, the newly rewritten BeyondExposures.com site, complete with interactive galleries, has been launched!
*~ I just remembered I need to update the B.E. site as well: kyaaa ~*
I had the weirdest dream this afternoon (what is better than an afternoon nap after great warung food in a tropical paradise?hehehe), after watching the DVD “War Photographer”. My cloest friends know this DVD very well, as I’ve forced them all to see it at least once. It’s playing right now, yet again *LoL*
In the dream, I’m on my first International assignment, covering the stark and tragic misery of Kosovo. Several other notable photographers are there as well, listening to the United Nation advisor’s “can do” and “cannot do” lists for what may be photographed. I see James Nachtwey! Eeeeeee!
*~ You must understand. There are a few photographers I feel are truly elite: James Nachtwey, Eugene Richards, and James Whitlow Delano, are my favorites! ~*
Back to the dream: I see James Nachtwey. Before we are led in by the UN advisor, I go to James and introduce myself: “Hello, I’m Rodney Johnson, I’m a huge fan and have diligently studied your work blahblahblah …”
But soon in the dream I go on and on with praise to Nachtwey, gushing and squeeling like a Japanese schoolgirl in an Austin Powers movie! Even my accent turned Japanese and I was wearing a schoolgirl outfit, jumping up and down, holding on tight to my over-accessorized mobile phone. I was smiling so hard that my eyes closed to thin slits!
*~ If you have Chinese or Japanese friends, and have seen them laughing hard, you know their eyes disappear entirely hahaha: it’s cute actually! ~*
In a high-pitched-anime-girl-voice: “OMG! Mista Nachtwey! I so big fan! I … I eeeee! I so embarass! Eeeeeee! … I also shoot Canon! Eeeee!”. My Sailor Moon hair pompoms almost fall out, while my teddy bear backpack flops around.
*~ looking around in embarrassment: only tiny wall lizards are the witnesses ~*
Anyway. All is well. I’m alive here. I’m thinking of renting a motorcycle and taking a few days trip into deep Bali mountain areas. I will post images from bali shortly on the new BeyondExposures.com site. For now, back to the portfolio submission (and the War Photographer DVD, of course)!
Posted from BlackBerry
The Uniforms We Are Given…
Allow me to indulge for a moment, so you understand my thinking, before continuing the read this blog post:
No, I’m not in the picture. :p
I used to watch an American TV show called “Good Times.” The TV comedy was centered around a very poor African American family, The Evans (picured above), who was stuck in “the ghetto” (a very run-down, dangerous, inner-city neighborhood). The show chronicled The Evans’ constant struggle with “trying to make ends meet” (American slang for: pay for all things they needed, with extremely limited money).
James Evans, the father, was eventually was killed in a work accident (“killed” on the show, not in real-life). The youngest boy, Micheal (a black rights militant) was reminiscing about lessons of life that his father taught him. One saying James told Michael was “We must play the game in the uniform we are given.” (Meaning: we must go through life with the skin color we are born with, and deal with life as it comes to us.)
Just as we must live life with the skin color we are born with (unless you are Michael Jackson), children must live in childhoods based on their parents’ decisions. Sometimes the choices parents make are hard for the child, but for the child’s own good. Sometimes the choices parents make are purely out of selfish reasons.
My photographic projects, whether special interest or humanitarian, are always focused on unique sub-cultures. One current project is focused on the lives of orphans. This weekend I spent some time at one particular place that I am focusing on. For most westerners, orphanages are places for children who do not have parents due to death, and the kid has no other family.
Actually, I am such a child. My father was unknown, and my biological mother–a Jane Doe: an unidentifiable woman–died during childbirth. I was adopted at 6 days old by my parents (non-biological parents).
In the West, children given up for adoption by their biological parents are technically orphans too, but westerners never think “giving up child for adoption” is the same as “make the child an orphan” as parents are still alive. I am learning very fast is in 3rd world Asia most “orphans” do not fit the Western paradigm of what an orphan is.
The vast majority of orphans in the 3rd world have living biological parents, who have either abandoned the children out of selfish reasons (such as not wanting to be looked down upon for having a non-perfect baby), or the parents willing gave the child to a orphanage in hopes to give the child a better future than they could provide it. Some parents even give their children to the orphanage with an informal agreement it is for a limited time only, until the family can support the child themselves. Only in a very few cases are the children truly without biological parents in 3rd world Asia.
So, these orphans are dealing with the circumstances they are put into. This particular orphanage is extremely well ran, with caring staff and a clean environment for the children to live, learn, and play in. The children have a range of issues, from mental retardation, to physical deformities such as permanent blindness. One 2 year old boy has permanent brain damage due to high fever while fighting the flu. He lays in bed shaking and moaning. He has very good health care, thanks to plentiful donations from Europe to the orphanage, but he seems to have little human interaction at the moment (he’s still sick with flu).
![](http://www.rodneyonearth.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/angel-1.jpg "\")
The children all have heart-twisting stories, but one stands out: a blind girl that I will call Angel (I’m not giving her real name, to protect the child). Angel is a 4 year old, Indonesian-European mixed girl. In addition to speaking Indonesian, she speaks fluent Dutch! The orphanage does not know her origins; she was merely given to the orphanage.
Angel has already gone to Singapore so doctors there could determine if there was any treatment for her eye condition (her blue-gray eyes are covered with a cataracts-like film, giving her a ghostly appearance). Doctors said there is nothing that can be done for her.
Some believe Angel’s Expat father and his maid conceived Angel, and when he left the country he abandoned the mom and child, and the mother could not cope with a blind daughter. Some others believe she might have been the result of a “contract marriage” (where woman is married to guy for a specific time)–I’m still trying to understand contract marriages. All of these are theories only. On one knows Angel’s true story.
She loves constant hugs and to be carried, even though she gets around the orphanage fairly well on her own. Every time she bumps into a person, she enthusiastically puts her arms in the air to be picked up. If that does not work, she tries to climb the person.
*~ We all had a fun laugh when this happened to our shy driver. After several failed attempts to be picked up by the driver, Angel tried to climb him like a tree, ending up with him standing there with her stuck in mid-air with her arms and legs wrapped around his legs in a wrestling death grip. hahaha ~*
She has no surprise-from-touch response, for lack of a better term. Meaning: if she is walking, and bumps something, like water she just flows around it without breaking the song she’s singing. If you touch her hand or suddenly speak to her in a quiet room, she is not the least bit startled. She must have been blind for most of her very young life.
I could not hold her for long, out of fear of adopting her hahaha. She is so sweet and adorable, she ripped my heart out when she called me “Papa” when trying to get me to hold her. I would have given her one of my eyes, if that was humanly possible (and I am not kidding). My friend, Yensi, spent a lot of time carrying Angel around the orphanage, singing with her as they went along. Angel’s extremely smart: she will be amazing one day.
Surprising was the fact the orphanage does not have an immediate need for money, as several organizations in Europe provide the majority of their monetary needs. What they do need is food items, such as Ovaltine, baby diapers, etc. I will help them with that each month.
Anyway, the kids make me rethink life. Maybe “the uniform i was givien” is not so bad to have received…
Take care!
Faster Than A Speeding Bullet …
Faster Than A Speeding Bullet…
Anyone who reads this blog knows my passion is creating images (aka, photography). But what most readers do not know is VERY FEW people I know in real life, especially at work, know I am a photographer! Most see me as the shy, quiet techo-geek with a teddy bear body. This is great.
I mentioned in my last blog, I decided it was time to reveal to the world my current project. I met with some influential people to present my work. I dragged my 22in LCD HD display (because I hate how images look when presented by projectors) and 17in MacBook Pro to their meeting room, and like Clark Kent, I stripped off my mild-mannered persona, and became Superman. What is most interesting is the people were shocked this was my work. One of them said “it’s like discovering Clark Kent is really Superman!” because when I speak of my projects in detail, I cannot hide my passion of the subject, and I am uber-confident in my vision and goal (confident, not egotistic… there is a difference!).
*~ Now u see why I titled this post “Faster Than A Speeding Bullet…” hahaha ~*
The one hour interview ended up being more than 3 hours. I was so happy, because the individuals understood exactly what my goals and motivations were, and felt they can help the people and the topics of the project (poverty, education for poor children, and environmental issues). I also made it clear, while the government does need to make changes to address certain humanitarian issues, I did not want the government see as the bad guy, which they agreed. *~Hurray!~*
The audience was shocked both by the pictures (1. the high quality of them, 2. i got such deep information about the individuals–ex: I could say during the slideshow “This is Nelly, her father is ….”). They felt my deep sincere interest. And best of all, they saw that this is as much a cultural/anthropological academic study as it was a photographic study. Perfect!
At the end of the 3+hr meeting, I must say things went much better than I expected! I cannot go into specific deals (surprise hehehe) just yet, but I will give you an overview of where this project is going:
- Coverage of this project will be on a major talk show (Indonesians would be shocked, If I said what show: it’s that big) *Side note: I will be doing a documentary study on the talk show host, per that person’s request! wow!*
- Newspaper and magazine articles are being planned
- Internet photo galleries, with audio commentary will be created
- The first of several books will be a reality (and the book cover is ready)!
I am so excited, I’m not sure where to begin to explain it all. Let’s start by showing you the book cover, then I will explain the project, based on what you see. 
The overall project is called “Fighting Desperation” and is a multiple-project project. What is a multiple-project project? Basically, I am working on a project that is made of several small projects. Each small project stands on its own as a solid, independent body of photographic work and research, but they each support my larger umbrella project, “Fighting Desperation.” Think of each small project as a stone block, and the umbrella project is the pyramid the blocks are used to build. If you are a Star Trek geek, think of the umbrella project as the starship Enterprise, and the smaller projects as the shuttle-crafts. :p
I should tell you, each small project is not worked one and completed sequentially (project #1, then #2, etc). This current project is actually project #3, not #1! Small project #1 is still ongoing. Small project #2 is completed (as it was a very small, but independent, project). I will return to small project #1 this weekend, and it will be even better than this current project (as I learned a lot of lessons from this project).
I picked the name, Fighting Desperation, as it has two meanings: 1. my projects are meant to fight various forms of desperation people are sadly enduring: poverty, economic instability, and and anguish suffered by women, children, and their families (these topics happen to coincide with some of the MDGs of Indonesia). 2. They are people who find themselves in desperate situations, which lead them to take desperate measures to fight for their existence, essentially the living, breathing models of fighting desperation.
When I first began this project, I thought of the people as scavengers. Certainly, they do use scavenging as a means to survive, but the longer I studied and spent time with the people, the more I came to appreciate, respect, and admire what they really are: survivors. So, in my book cover, I intentionally used strike-out for the word scavenger, and put survivor in red. I want people, before they even open the book, to know these are survivors!
Anyway, enough for now on this project. After the 3+hr interview, they wanted to see other forms of my work. I showed them slideshows of past projects. There were just speechless. I’m very happy; people will receive help because of my work!
Indonesian Lesson of Today
Yes, I’m trying to use more and more Bahasa Indonesia in my daily life: 1. meetings at work are painful sometimes, as people know very little English. 2. I find I like studying the language 3. I can interact more and more with people I encounter when conducting projects.
Yakin: sure, certain
Merasa: to feel
Tentang: about
Jawaban: answer, response
-nya: indicates possessive, (also specifies specific one to topic. like “the coat”, not “a coat”)
Contoh (example):
Yuli merasa yankin tentang jawabannya.
Yuli feels sure about her answer.
Similar words:
Seyakinnya: absolutely convinced
Meyakinkan: to convince someone
Keyakinan: conviction, belief
Take care!
It’s Coming! + Mail Call :)
It’s Coming!
I knowwwww, I did not post within two days of the last post. I am STILL writing the blog post (yes, this is not the one I wanted to post). The forthcoming post is so deep that I am forced to review and rethink some things (in positive ways). Trust me, it will be worth the wait.
For now, I will tell you what is happening, share some incredible news, and answer some emails (which I still get hundreds of each week: maybe I should create a forum).
I have been exploring some avenues for my current photographic project. I’ve made some amazing breakthroughs! I may be published in not one, but 4 publications, I may be interviewed by a well-known talk show host (I wont say any names, until it is confirmed). I may be able to get some of the impoverished children I’ve encountered some lasting support, and there may be a book!
Actually I have a horrible reporter to thank for all of this, as his actions made me feel I must give a more accurate accounting of some things. My friend, Yensi, told me to check the JakartaGlobe’s features section, as a reporter published a very short article about the very subject and location of my current project. But, he did not get formal permission to be there, and he only spent a few hours there one time. His information was so inaccurate I almost screamed (from laughing and from disgust). This was just another example of what my Ministry of Health acquaintance mentioned before: how foreigners ignore the government rules, and exploit the people for their own gain. Very sad. I took the time to get permission to do this, and to share my data, findings, and images with the government, and this reporter guy comes along and exploits the people! He only made it harder for sincere researchers to do work, as the government has yet another negative experience to cause them mental trauma. 
After I “googled” the reporter’s name, I found he published the same inaccurate article in other newspapers, with the same, singular misleading photo! *~kyaaa~*
All of this let me to take more action and move my timetable “up” a few months. Instead of waiting longer, I decided to proceed with bringing thing project into public view: thus the publications, the talk show appearance, the possible book, etc etc. And yes, gallery showings. I will tell you more next week
Mail Call:
Justin wrote: “Do you have gallery showings? If yes, where?”
I’ve only had one gallery showing since being in Indonesia, but you can count on another coming in the very near future. Actually, I’m planning for 3 showings, one month each, back to back in 3 different locations in Jakarta. I am still working out the details.
Kim wrote: “Your website does not allow purchases of the images. How can I buy one?”
Actually, some images are not for sale, such as the sex worker images. But when you select a photo on my website, it gives you the option to contact me. So far I’ve given away images, rather than sold them, when I see they will be used for the powers of good.
Kim (another Kim) wrote: “How are you and the stalker?”
Hahaha, funny you ask. I tried to work with the stalker on my current project, only to find out she was still telling people a bunch of bull. I made it clear I wanted co-worker relationship only (and others were witness to this) but it did not matter. Every time she and I work, it seems to be a 2.5 month time limit before she converts into craziness; at first, all is well, but as time progresses in that 2.5 months, she converts into a … not nice person. I won’t work with her again, ever.
It’s sad actually. When we “work” together, we are an *extremely* good team: we blend and mesh very well as we have the same goal: to help the people we are encountering. We know what the other is doing at the time we are doing our part; we even worked together to get the poor kids school supplies for their make-shift school. Working together has never been an issue, when we stay on-topic. It is the private-life items that ruins things every time, like where she tells people, in Indonesian language, we are married, then say they are lying when I learn what was said, or how she say my friends hack her email and cell phone to send me those hate emails/sms messages (ex: how all Muslims are going to hell, and they trying to take me with them, and she will kill them before she allows it, and God hates them all, and God told her it is her responsibility to keep me from their evil. God also told her I had a light blue sofa in my house, and a Hispanic babysitter (I’m not shi!tting you!): insane!).
At our last insane blow-up, 3 friends, the car’s driver, and I had to use a system to jump into the car, and lock all the doors, as she was insisting she wanted to go with us on the project (after I declined her because she cannot separate work and personal topics). I won’t go into more details of how we did it (it’s funny actually), but it ended in her breaking the car’s back-window and door with a brick! The driver got out and almost smacked her! People told him “don’t hit her, she’s just a woman.” (omg)
I had the choice of either giving the driver her address and phone number, so his co can sue her for $, or pay for the damages myself. She is a gov worker: committing a violent crime would certainly get her fired, and she would not be able to go to the USA for her PhD (UCLA, watch out!). I paid the damages (she does not even know they wanted her info, or that I paid the damages) so she would not be fired. I also paid the damages, so her chances of going to the far side of the planet Earth, far away from me, would not be ruined. I’m happy to say she is staying away (no calls or messages), and I certainly am too. Life is happy again.
Ivan wrote: “When shooting, how many images do you keep out of the bunch”
Hmmm, I have to say this will be in a future blog, but to give an base answer: maybe 1 out of 500. The future blog will explain why I am so “picky” about what images I keep.
ENOUGH. Take care, I have to work! And, I have to prepare for next week’s presentation :)
Updating The Updates
Hi all,
I’ll keep this post short and sweet, as I am working on a longer post that will be posted by Thursday (really! I promise!).
As I mentioned before, I redesigned my photography portfolio site, BeyondExposures.com, with a new logo! What do you think of it? I’m curious for opinions.
Today, I’ve uploaded color (yes, color!) images of The Mekong Delta and of Cambodia. The goals of these galleries are to give viewers a real-life view of these places beyond the typical cliche views you often will see. For example: you will see thousands of images of the temples of Angkor Wat, yet how many photos do you see of handmade rice noodles being processed? Ok, maybe some will say “we don’t care about rice noodles, Rod!” Well I do! So I shot it! 
Just click the photo to see the new galleries. I apologize in advance that the images are not as vibrantly colored as on my monitor (the color space for web pages is limited: on monitors, there are almost 2x the number of available colors). But, I think most will be happy with what they see. If want to see the “real” colors, let me know and I will send u a small file u can display on your monitor. *Ok, I’m rambling…I can feel it…*
I had a great Chinese New Year! I spent it with Christine’s wonderful family. I am still full from all the food, and I’m still working my way through all the cakes I brought home DD
*~Special Thanks, Again, Christine ~*
In addition to the yummy munchies Christine’s Mom (Momstine? hahaha), My friend from Singapore is here visiting her family for Chinese New Year, giving us a great opportunity to hang out as often as we can this week! So, I’m a happy Rodney at the moment. :):)
Ok, I’ve got to get back to work! I will post again within two days. Do take care!
Do The Ends Justify The Means?
I’m still post-processing gigabytes of images from my current project, as well as editing audio for the audio-enabled slideshow. Of course, all work and no play is no good for Rodney! Well, It is a labor of love, but still, I decided to take a one day break to see what has been going on in the photographic world.
Philosophical debates and situational ethics, relative to photography, are endlessly fascinating to me. I came across a few blogs pointing to a YouTube video about Bruce Gilden, a Magnum photographer. In the video, Gilden is interviewed while zigs and zags through the streets of New York (Gilden is famous for his NY street photography) and making images. Gilden talks of how he works, what he things, and so on. Check the video out before reading further:
Now, I am often quite opinionated about what I think and feel, even though I do not always express it verbally, but this time I must say (or write) “something.” I won’t comment on the quality of Gilden’s work (if you check his Magnum portfolio, some of his work quite brilliant). I won’t comment on his guts: the man has a serious set of brass (no, titanium alloy) balls, that’s for sure! It takes serious courage to do street photography in New York, much less in the way Gilden does it, with a beat-up Leica and off-camera flash suddenly jumping in front of you. I can certainly agree with Gilden about NY streets being dangerous. From my travels around the world, I can say Americans are some of the least open people for being photographed, and New York is even more tough than most places in the USA.
Did I tell you guys of the time I had my life threatened in New York’s Chinatown? That’ll be a future post: “Narrow Escapes!”
I am sure there is no one, perfect, way to get candid images, but certainly using surprise ambush tactics is not the way to go! He does not show any sort of caring, compassion or empathy for the people he photographs. Calling the people “characters” dehumanizes them! He holds certain paradigms about the people he encounters, and does not care what others think (“I don’t care about the question”). And saying “…I have no ethics…” certainly says volumes about how he sees life, and how he sees himself.
Gilden’s 4 minute video gave me the deep impression he is purely selfish in his motivations. Sure, when we work on self-assigned projects, a certain amount of selfishness is involved; we pick topics that are fascinating to us, or we pick subject matter that we feel can be used for stock, or we may even try to shoot photos we feel clients will one day want to use. For me, I am the former (I pick because the topic or subject matter is fascinating to me: I have no clients and I currently do not sell photos). But for most, that selfishness for self-assigned work does not mean proceeding in a way where we devalue people! He treated those individuals like a bowl of fruit being ambushed. Yet, in the end, a lot of his photos (not shown in that video) are truly amazing. Do the ends justify the means????
Street photographers have to have a certain level of confidence (or have the will to push through their fear) when they want to photograph people. Gilden has elephant size balls when it comes to street photography (I envy him in some ways for his confidence). But, when is too much simply too much? I am curious what others do to get images. For me, I tend to take a slower, more gentle approach. I am a overweight (ok, VERY FATTTT), kinda-tall, black guy in Asia. I cannot hide even if I want. I get constant stares as if I am a Sumo Wrestler/Barak Obama hybrid with an American accent. Add to this I use wide-angle lenses, means I have to be pretty close to people. I do not speak the language here in Indonesia, or other places in Asia I make images.
I use all of these unique, Rodney-physical traits as ice breakers: I use smiles, and slow movement when taking pictures. Kids see me as a teddy bear, and I always have fun with them, which in turn makes adults more open too. It is quite rare I ask permission before shooting, especially here in Indonesia (why? I have found even when a person wants to be photographed, fixing their hair, and striking a pose, if you gesture or ask permission, they will shyly say “no”, but if you do it, they are happy, or maintain the exact same expression and pose, or they smile after. I always say thank you (even if they do not know English) or wave, and sometimes try to show them the image in the camera’s LCD, when it is convenient.
Never have I had an issue (so far: keeping fingers crossed) because I treated someone rudely. When I see a person does not want to be photographed, I smile and keep moving (but very slowly, as I do not want to give the impression I am only there for a photo). When I leave with no photo, maybe I am still within a few meters of the person, even after being declined. I want to be part of the moment, not merely passing the moments, and I want that decliner to see that too (maybe it will make the next photographer have better success, if the decliner sees “oh, maybe they actually care, not just want ‘a shot’”).
After watching the video a few times, I have to say Gilden is right: the streat is not owned by any individual, and anyone in public is technically (TECHNICALLY) fair-game to be photographed. Fine, you “can” shoot anyone in public, but does not mean you should do so? He even had the nerve to tell some guy “how to act” in his “candid” photo! I thought a candid image is an image of the person being himself, undirected and undisturbed by the photographer? How candid can an image be when the unwilling person is told “keep walking!” then complain the person was smiling???
Frankly, I’m surprised he hasn’t has his ass kicked! Genius or not, the guy comes across as a total jerk who does not care about anyone or anything beyond getting the photo he wants.
Ok Ok. It’s just a 4 minute video. I am sure there must be more to him than what we saw, but I have a feeling there is not much more. There is another one or two videos on YouTube of him, so I’ll check those out as well. He reminds me of a character who could have been in “Grumpy Old Men.”
I ask everyone: Yes, he has some amazing work as a result from his methods, but does the ends justify the means?
Dotting all the I’s; Crossing all the T’s
I’m back from a super 7 days in Singapore! Now back to reality: I’m so deep in images to be processed right now (this is a good thing, yes?) This current photo project is going well, despite occasional hick-ups in the working relationship with my assistant (I won’t say who, or it will turn into a flame war).
I’m starting to feel I must manage this project as I would a technical project. I have to remain focused on the overall goal of this project. Unfortunately, the assistant loses focus and wants the project to slightly expand beyond being a Photo project, and into a cultural study, beyond photography. I’m partly open to this, but I feel I must meet my core goals with this project first, before looking at expanding it.
I’m stil getting some 200+ emails a week about this blog and project. The most asked question currently is “where are the new photos?”
Well, I’ll answer that now. They are on my hard drive hahaha. Seriously, I will not be posting any photos on this blog, relative to photo projects, again. Why? Because people are stealing my photo work, and claiming credit for it! I’ve had to go to 36 different websites, and request various photos from this blog (and from my very old Pbase account) no longer be used.
This is not to say I wont let others use the photos. Just recently, someone asked to use photos, and I sent him high quality images for free, as he was nice enough to ask. Certainly, if those site owners simply “asked” to use the photos, I would have allowed them (as their sites or projects are humanitarian based).
I’ve created a PhotoShelter account that I will load projects to. PS accounts have right-click protection, and back-up capabilities to protect my images from being lost or stolen. I like that!
In the mean time, Please be patient. the PS site will be up, and there will be a special page link from this blog to it. After the color scheme is finished (PS can be customized), it will become the new BeyondExposures.com site.
For now, I am trying to not fire my assistant, get a grip on the thousands of images… and get the PhotoShelter site up and running, all while working full time (by the way, in 2009 I will be promoted to be in charge of all Information Technology of all companies owned by the parent corporation, not merely the single company I am working for…..very good, and maybe more pay, but I cannot do it if it will affect my photography time: maybe it will help it, as I will travel much more often in Indonesia for work… hmmm)
Take care and Happy Holidays!
In Total Shock
Actually, I’m quite well. Everything at work is going accordingly and smoothly. My presentation for yesterday’s annual meeting was highly successful (I really put serious effort into that presentation!).
My photographic life is really going well. I’m working on “the project” with formal government approval, giving me total access to do what I need to. Thursday night (December 11) I will head to Kalimantan for more work with the Indonesian Government for one of their projects that deal with critical topics (malnutrition and extreme respitory disease). I’m looking forward to this Kalimantan project, as my photographic work will help the Ministry of Health show what they are doing to combat these important issues, as well as what the consequenses are when they lack the funding or personnel penetration to act.
But this post is about being in shock. “The Project” deals with certain groups of individuals, living in a type of poverty no one suspects really exists. I will not go into details, as I’m sick of my photo project ideas being stolen, but I will say I see humans and humanity in a different way. The way some people choose to live is incredible and sad. I’m digesting all I’ve witnessed and seen, and trying to get in touch with my perceptions of it all, so I may channel it through the camera.
I began this project with one goal, but it has changed to purely giving people a voice, so the world (or at least this country) know what they are enduring every day…
It’s all I can say for now. I’m ok, but I feel I’ve seen some things that change how I see life…… You will too, when you see and hear (yes, hear) the results of it all…
Running Downhill…
Hello Hello Hello,
It’s been super busy lately, both in my personal life, my photographic life (which partly overlaps into my personal life), and my professional life.
You can read the mundane details below, but for lazy people like me, allow me to just give you the cliff notes version
- Preparations for my current photo project has made significant leaps!
- My God, I have to give 2 critical presentations within the next month!
- After months of complaining to HR to get me CVs and Resumes, I’m FINALLY am getting quality people to potentially fill several tech support and programmer positions!
*~ If you’re a PHP Programmer, in Jakarta, EMAIL ME! ~*
. - After a battle with my company’s HR department, I was able to give two of my staff decent raises.
- I really really really need to finish my paper, a study of the specific group of individual sex workers (see previous post, “Exploring The Underground World of Sex Workers”)!
Photo Project:
My company’s campus has several buildings. For some meetings, I take a quick, 30 second walk to a neighboring building, then proceed to the 7th floor. From there, I have this incredible view of the area. One such view is of a place that fits perfectly into my current photo project. The area has grown in 3 months from 2 shacks, to a community of shacks, where they sort through, and burn huge amounts of trash.
Since I’m working alone on photo projects (I really need to be more autonomous), I decided to take a 45 minute walk to that area, in shirt and tie (stupid me) to talk to the people there, to gain some form of access/entry. My phone has a dictionary, and I was practicing what to say to their camat (their community leader). Turns out my attempts paid off.
After their initial shock of seeing this huge black guy with an American accent, they seemed quite open. I told them the best I could I just wanted “foto foto aja” (photos only). When the guy was talking, I could only understand 1 out of 7 or 8 words, but it seemed they wanted money! I told them it for my own project, not gov, or magazine or tv or such. I am sure I sounded like I was using baby talk hahahaha.
Daily I take taxis to and from work. I always tell the taxi driver to use roads instead of toll roads, because I love to see the people walking on the street as well as various hidden areas I find photographically interesting. This is how I found site #2 for the photo project! So, I’ve now 2 sites to focus on for this project. Hurray!
I also found renting a car (and driver, because no way I will drive in this city!) will be easy. Some of the places I want to go in the city simply have horrid access to taxis. And, being lazy, I hate walking more than I need to (but, with camera in hand, I can walk all day).
So, the project will begin soon. Wait… Not so soon! why???? Because…….
Case Study for Group of Sex Workers:
Yes, I have been asked to turn this in. I knew it would be due eventually, but I really wish I could have been told of the due date in advance! I was asked literally just a day before it was wanted! Come on! That is not fair. I shot the pics when? Last year? If I was told ‘the paper will be needed in 1 month, or 10 months” then I could have planned my work.
As I was never asked for it, I never kept working on it. Then just last week I was asked to provide it in a day. if knew it would be needed, why not tell me when you found out when you are meeting about it? I could have prepared it, if I was given a firm deadline to have it by. And, when giving deadlines, it cant be a day or two before! It has to be planned, and stated during the project’s Analysis phase. But anyway, It’s a lesson for future projects. It’s not a huge deal, but will be time consuming, given my work presentations, plus my regular workload. :p
So, I gave what I had, the base outline that was posted on the previous blog post (which did go into detail, but not as much as the formal paper, with citations and secondary sources) and I gave the photographs. I also stated I would finish the paper next week at the latest (which is when presentation #1 is due….. Oct 14 cryyyy).
Ok, enough for now. Hope you are not as busy as me! But damn it, these presentations put off my photo project, AGAIN! I’m really thinking of that NGO photographer/writer offer that is avail in 2009… While this job is great pay, it’s cutting into my photography time big time! This is something I cannot allow for a long period of time.
At the moment I feel like I’m running downhill; at first, I’m in control of the decent, but momentum and gravity are pulling on my body mass until its a mad run, and just keeping from tripping over my own two feet! hahahahaha
What Makes Crazy People Crazy???
The Setting: Starbucks Sarinah, which is 95% empty
I’m writing this blog post in my head. Why in my head, instead of on my laptop? Because my crazy-ass stalker is sitting next to me. Why is she sitting next to me? I’ve no idea, except to bug me.
“Are you alright? How do you feel? Did you get my calls or SMS? You did not reply…”
*~ Well of course I did not reply! You’re a stalker! OMG! ~*
I think stalkers have stalker-periods. Just as women have monthly periods, stalkers have monthly or bi-monthly periods, where they come to their victims, bleed all over them, and give their victims cramps!
My stalker is especially tenacious, using every excuse in the book to make contact. First, it was contact out of ‘concern’ for my health. Second, it was contact about religious advice, with a side-dish of dieting wisdom, and reprimand-for-telling-people-cafes-are-fun desert. Third, she now wanted to meet because Dumbledore, the laptop I sold her a year ago, has a non-functional trackpad after she installed a mouse. Forth, and lastly, she wanted to meet because she wanted me to join her in Tangerang for a photo project (like I’m going to stay in a hotel with her? “F” that!). But, no matter what she says or does, I only become more adament to stay the hell away from her. I’m the world’s most stubborn man.
*~ I AM the world’s most stubborn man! I even have a plaque stating it! ~*
Off-tangent Item:
There seems to be some celebrity here! There are three photographers here shooting photos of some woman and her gentleman friend. I’m assuming the woman is the celeb, as I am sure I’ve seen her “somewhere” before, I just can’t place where. I’m sure on TV though. I can say she seems genuinely a kind soul, and is very accommodating to the photographers.
Back to Reality… Oh ya, Luxifer is sitting next to me…
Yesterday, she sent food items to my house, even though she knows knows knows I do not want anything from her! I gave them to the house-boy, because I simply cannot accept anything from her. I felt that was better than just throwing it into the trash (It’s bad to waste food).
Part of me is fully aware she “cares” in her own demented, warped way, but it does not justify terrorizing people. She’s like bi-polar! One min she spewing out talk of how I am a evil man, because I do not listen to God (why? because all she says is directly from God, and so if I do not listen to her then I am, by the transverse property of mathematics, not listening to God). Then she “switches” and talks of “why do I avoid her?” as if she has NO CLUE why, as if I just woke up and decided to not talk to her for no reason! Then she “switches” again with anger and speaking in “tongues” (Christians in America, especially Baptists know what I mean) and telling me she is a prophet, and her name is no longer Luxi <Lastname>. But, now her name is Maria-name-name-name-name-Luxi <Lastname>. *~ That scared the shit out of me! ~*
OMG, now she trying to put her arm around me? *~ GET THE FUCK OFF ME! ~*
No, I did not “say” that, but my Grrrrr seemed to convey the meaning. Now we know what is next….. the “I’m sorry” My God. Now comes “The Tangerang office needs the sex worker photos, this is business Kak Rod…” I told her “Send me their address; I will mail the CD.”
BTW, I am told “Kak” means “Sister” not “Brother” Is this true? Then why the fuck does she keep calling me Kak Rod? My skin crawls everytime I hear her call me that. I want to get up and go, but the free wifi is just too damn adhesive.
She wants to use more of that horrid “Anointing Oil” to bless me. I respectfully decline. I should say, all of my replies (the very very few I do give) are very tactful, 5-word-or-less “no thanks” or “sorry, I’m not interested.” replies. I don’t want to feed the beast!
She rubs the oil in the palm of her hand, and is about to leave. She’s making several phone calls to whoever. She wants to shake hands as if “no hard feelings.” She really does think she is the smartest person on the Planet Earth, and all others are just idiots: She wants to contaminate me with an Anointing Oil handshake?
Actually there is so so so so so much to tell, but this is enough. My mind is getting full with this text, esp while reading of how O.J. is finally going to jail.
*~ What a combo: OJ and Luxifer, hahaha ~*
A question to the universe: How to get rid of stalkers? Some friends say “move!” others say “change your number!” Both of these ideas are quite disturbing actually. Some may say only do those if the stalker is violent. Well, my stalker IS violent.
*~ One day, maybe (but most likely not) I will tell you of her physical attack at my house, and prior to that, her throwing a full bottle of Jungle Juice at me, then pushing her elderly mom when the mom and sis were screaming “KikI, Stop It!”! ~*
In the past, I would reply her SMS and emails, in some hope of explaining to her that just because someone is not doing what “she” wants, does not mean they are acting childish. Oh, if you are not willing to talk to her, you are childish. Well, I say if a person is disrespectful to you, you then have the right to choose to not associate with that person. But, my attempts are quite insane, in a way. Why? Because I’ve tried explaining “over and over and over” how I feel and think, and only getting the same result, while hoping to get a new result.
That is the very definition of insanity: doing things in same way, while expecting a different outcome. So, I am taking a new approach to get that new result: I do not reply any communication. I do not reply any emails. Items she brings to my house are given to the houseboys to do with as they want. The ONLY thing I give is the photos, which I did shoot for the city of Tangerang, thus I respectfully give that CD of photos. The entire time she was here (maybe 20min now? I lost count) I’ve said only couple sentences to her. No matter how many time she put her scaly arm around me, or try to touch my arm, I simply move away slightly to show it is not welcome, and I just turn the music up higher.
Ah, she’s going to church. Wonderful. Amen, and God Bless! Go to Heaven! (pretty please?!?)
The Starbucks girls just brought me a free Oatmeal Raisin cookie. I guess she saw I needed it. As they were staring and watching this entire infiltration into my personal space *~ LOL ~*
Take care